Category Archives: Whimsey

What Are You Searching For?

One of my favorite features of WordPress is the statistics page. There, in neatly ordered charts, graphs, and lists, you can discover fun facts such as how popular you are (or aren’t) in the internet community, which posts get the most hits (you’d be surprised), and who comments most frequently on your blog (my mother.) (Thanks, Mom.) But my favorite part of statistics is that you can see what phrases people searched for that led them to your blog.

Some of the best:

– “something nice to say to a pregnancy”

– urukhai with baby

– what is the american childhood annie dillard all about

– csap proctor boredom

– stumped face

– patron de strapless (what?)

– “extreme parenting to the max”

– janet schamp (my mother)

– catholics and lilacs

– Jumpsuit strapless shorts

– I can count my friends on just one hand

– can a newborns arms go over their heads?

And, my favorite, winning hands down with 69 hits

– “Grossed Out Face”

So, what do you think? Did they find what they were looking for?

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Filed under Whimsey

How-To

How to Make Cake Pops  Balls in 25 Steps

(Only 10 of which are actually necessary)

1) Begin on a day when you have fifteen other more pressing things to do. Attempt to do three other things in between each step below.

2) Bake a cake according to the directions on the box, burning it only slightly when your infant creates an untimely diaper situation.

3) Unfairly curse the altitude, but take comfort in the fact that no one will see how the cake actually turned out.

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-altitude.

4) Crumble the cake into a big bowl with your bare hands. (Do not leave the cake crumbles unattended, as your husband is likely to find it upon coming home and assume that you’ve finally gone insane.)

5) Wash hands thoroughly if you’ve recently applied lotion or changed a diaper, then mix half a can of icing into the cake crumbles. (Remove your wedding ring half-way through)

6) Form sticky cake crumb/icing mixture into balls, set on wax paper-covered baking sheet and place in the freezer.

Ready to freeze!

7) While the balls chill, prepare the candy coating in a double-boiler, or a pyrex inside of a pot of water, if that’s the best you can do.

SOME people just use a microwave, but we know that a double-boiler is best.

8 ) When the candy chips have melted in a smooth, even-colored liquid, remove cake balls from freezer.

9) Dip a lollipop stick into the melted candy, then immediately plunge it into the center of a cake ball. Take a moment to admire your work.

10) Artfully twirl the cake pop in the melted candy. Try not to panic when you notice that the candy coating is AWFULLY thick.

11) Definitely panic when you realize that you’ve forgotten a styrofoam block for holding the cake pops upright while they dry.

12) Sit there despairing for 45 seconds with a lumpy cake pop in hand while your baby cries and your phone rings and your sense of self-worth plummets like a 401k.

13) Put the cake pop back on the wax paper, upside down, and try to regain a healthy perspective on life while attending to various other crises.

14) Try dipping another cake pop, insanely expecting better results the second time. Realize that half your candy coating has been used up on two cake pops that could each constitute an entire meal.

Overgrown Cake Pop Monster

15) Weep a little, and eat one of the elephantine cake pops to make yourself feel better. Grudgingly admit that they taste okay.

15) Whine about your failure on Facebook.

16) Make your husband eat the other ugly cake pop and cry some more while shoving everything in the fridge or freezer when he tells you–as you already know–that the candy coating is much too thick.

17) Take a couple of days off. Torture yourself by browsing through Bakerella’s archive of fondant-covered miracles. Buy three different kinds of candy coating. Seek advice from professionals/friends on Facebook.

18) Return to your project with renew inspiration, determination! Fortify yourself by eating one of the frozen cake balls.

19) Realize that all of your materials have absorbed an awful onion and garlic flavor from the chili that you put in the fridge yesterday.

20) THROW EVERYTHING AWAY.

21) Repeat steps 1-8.

22) Only, THIS time, make the cake balls much smaller and  accidentally splash a SINGLE DROP OF WATER into your candy melts, thereby irrevocably ruining the entire batch.

23) THROW IT ALL AWAY AGAIN! Blast Abba’s “Dancing Queen” from itunes as you hobble from stove to trashcan, alternately singing along and sobbing.

24) Give the microwave thing a try. Admit that it’s much, much better.

25) Spend the next hour sniffling, snuffling, dipping and twirling until you end up with THIS:

Finally, a decent little pumpkin.

 Congratulations! You may be emotionally crippled and two pounds heavier, but you’ve made CAKE POPS BALLS!

Take some more pictures to document your success.

Throw a party.

Serve cake balls.

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Filed under Domesticity, Whimsey

“It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

Why is it so difficult to enjoy the present completely?

Believe me, I know that Sam is growing quickly and that these days of pureed spinach and peek-a-boo won’t last much longer. And I love the time we spend cuddling and playing and making each other laugh.

But at the same time, I find myself slipping into nostalgia, sighing wistfully over the blissful freedom of my single days. Those three years between college and marriage already glow golden in my memory, and they consist of nothing but indulgent late mornings, the pure delight of living with dear friends who made dinner a few times a week, and beautiful hours of solitude where I could sip my coffee or cabernet as I read in peace.

Of course, it wasn’t really like that at all. I used to leave for work at 5:30am. I used to complain that my roommates didn’t do their share of the chores, even as I neglected my own part. I used to cry because I was lonely. I don’t want to go back to those days at all. Yet…wasn’t it lovely, before? When I could rest if I was tired?

And won’t it be wonderful, later, when we have our own house with a garden instead of this quirky, drafty apartment sandwiched in between a cheap motel and a tumble-down frat house with two Great Danes who exist to defecate on the lawn? And our kids can sleep through the night and speak rationally instead of crying? Won’t life be grand?

(Shh…don’t tell me about the mortgages and the bickering children and the trials of parenting. Not just yet.)

I’m not sure why memory so quickly gilds the past in perfection, or why the human heart thrills so easily at the anticipation of a perfect future, when experience consistently teaches otherwise. It’s certainly preferable to the dissatisfaction of regrets and the expectation of more troubles, I suppose. What it would be like to be one of those rare individuals who seem to live completely in the present moment?

 

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Filed under Whimsey

Mesmerizing

A little celebration of talent in the arts for you this Friday morning:

Ain’t life beautiful?

Happy weekend, everybody.

1 Comment

Filed under Beauty, Whimsey